Ghosts
by Vergil Vanire's Paper Heart
Summary: He got up to pour himself another glass, not really caring what Sora thought of him. Sora wasn't the one he cared about. Roxas/Axel/Sora Angst


Title: Ghosts  
Summary: He got up to pour himself another glass, not really caring what Sora thought of him. Sora wasn't the one he cared about.  
Warnings: Angst, boy/boy, mature themes **(including mentions of non-explicit sexual encounters and suicide)**  
Pairings: Axel/Roxas, Axel/Sora

* * *

In Twilight Town, at least one person was always in a bad mood. It is safe to say this, because Axel Frigus had been in constant depression since the disappearance of his lover: Roxas Strife. Today -well, tonight, really- found him near the cemetery gate with a bottle of Scotch, the razor of a pencil sharpener, and a deep-set frown that everyone was sure had become a permanent feature. Everyone except Sora, who thought he glimpsed the ghost of a smile every now and then. But it was just a fantasy, a wish. It was the only thing Roxas' older brother ever wanted these days, to see him smile. It had been almost a year, now, and everyone except the Strife family and Axel had moved on. Including Hayner, Pence, and Ollette.

But where the remaining Strife members and Axel were concerned, nothing was going to be okay ever again.

Sora's twin, Vanitus didn't seem to really care, but if you knew him before as compared to after the disappearance, you knew he did. He used to look exactly like Sora, but after the first month, he dyed his hair. The second, he wore darker clothes. The fourth, golden contacts were an everyday routine. The seventh, he broke up with Xion. The ninth, he was expelled from Twilight High on a count of breaking Seifer's jaw after a Roxas-concerning comment.

Cloud, the oldest Strife brother, enlisted in the military program perhaps a week after Roxas hadn't come home. No one's heard from him since.

Ventus, Roxas' twin, had gotten noticeably more thin, gained ever-present dark circles, and almost never emerged from his room. Last month, he was admitted to the hospital for anemia, then to an adolescent treatment center for anorexia. He's allowed to send emails to anyone, but only ever talks to Vanitus, for whatever reason.

The parents, Rachel and Henri, were scarcely ever home before then, but never home after.

Then, there was Sora. Poor Sora, trying to pull the family back together. Poor Sora, wishing he'd known his brother better. Poor Sora, trying to console the inconsolable Axel. Poor Sora, caught in the middle. Poor Sora, clinging to the false hope Roxas might come back. Poor Sora, faking a smile everyday in the hopes of it spreading to everyone else's faces.

Poor, poor Sora, stuck dragging Axel's drunk ass back home.

"Ax, are you here?"

"Where else would I be on a Friday night?" he asked, spitefully.

"I don't know why you even bother," he started, wrapping Axel's arm around his shoulders. "It's not like we know he's dead. 'Burying' him was pretty much only Mom's way of having a reason to stop seeing us. He might come back someday."

"Your optimism is the most depressing thing in the world. He's not coming back, Sora. Just like Reno's not coming back..."

Sora didn't know what to say, so he just kept guiding Axel down the hill, back to the Sunset Terrace housing, where the redhead lived. Sunset Terrace was supposed to be the perfect place for families, but, much like the Strifes, the Frigus' had dissipated. But worse, Axel was the only one left. He had parents, at some point, but so long ago he didn't remember their names. Rude had all but raised he, Reno, and Lea. Lea had died at twelve, when Axel was fifteen, after catching pneumonia for the third time. Reno died in a school shooting at seventeen, when Axel was sixteen. He never knew what happened to his parents, but they'd been gone since he was six years old. Rude lived across the street, but didn't stop in much.

Axel could relate to them better than anyone, but Sora and Vanitus were the only two left in Twilight Town and Vanitus had a tendency to shy away from the twenty-two year-old, not wanting to remember Roxas or his former source of happiness.

Finally, the pair arrived at the door to Axel's house. Axel's eternally empty two-bedroom house that he just wanted to move out of because it reminded him so much of his brothers. It was all too tempting to go into Reno's room and just breathe him in, to pretend he was still alive. But, eventually, he would have to leave and he wouldn't be able to pretend anymore, feeling worse than when he'd entered.

He stumbled in, still attached to Sora, who dragged him to his bed. He lie down, Sora stroking his hair. Sora was frowning. That frown he only ever got vulnerable enough around Axel to show. He never had to pretend around Axel. If he did, he would just see through it and ask what was wrong.

The same way he'd done with Roxas.

Sora and Axel had gotten together over two months ago, both unsure if Roxas would be feeling betrayed or happy and never coming to any kind of answer. Every once in a while, the older boy would ask himself why he ever said yes in the first place, but then he would see it, the way Sora looked at him, lovingly and sometimes even happily. He would think that maybe he could love again, that maybe he could heal.

"What's wrong, Sora?" he asked, cupping his boyfriend's face.

"You _know_ what's wrong, Axel. You go there every Friday and drink. It's not healthy; you need to move on."

"It's not like you aren't grieving. Don't pretend like this isn't hard for you, too. I see your eyes all glossy when I find you in the tunnels; I know you're thinking about him."

"Yes, but I'm not trying to drink away the pain. That's what all you adults think the answer is: alcohol. But that won't make things any better, Ax. What you really need is the ability to love people again. I'm not saying forget Roxas, I'm saying move on and honor the memories you have of him."

Axel moved closer to the brunet's face. "Will you help me?"

"Huh?"

"Will you help me move on, Sora?"

Sora brandished a brilliant, pink blush. "I-if that's what you need..." he stammered.

Axel pulled him onto the bed, kissing him slow and soft...

* * *

Axel woke up a couple hours later.

For a moment, he thought he saw light blond spikes and pale skin to his right, but he blinked and the ghost of his dead lover was gone.

The tattooed man saw the reality of chocolate brown spikes and lightly tanned skin.

He got up to pour himself another glass, not really caring what Sora thought of him. Sora wasn't the one he cared about.

He just did to Sora what he'd been doing to Reno's room, and that wasn't fair to anyone.

The glass paused at his lips. He thought about Sora for a second. Roxas would want him to take care of Sora. Roxas would want him to love again.

He dumped the glass down the sink, then the bottle.

Axel turned at the feeling of arms around his waist, returning the embrace.

"I'm proud of you, Axel."

"Thank you, Sora. For helping me move on."

Sora wasn't the one he cared about before, he was the one he cared about now.


End file.
